Okay, the first kiss is the one we want to nail as authors. So how do you write a Sizzling one? Remember the five don'ts and the six do's. We'll start with the don'ts.
Don't spring the kiss on the reader without just cause.
Don't expect your reader to fall in love if you haven't.
Don't neglect your senses.
Don't let it be just a "They kissed."
Don't tell us, the readers that it was sensuous, show us.
The Do's don't list isn't like the Don'ts (Don't you hate me now!) lol
They run more like: Stay in one character's head (or body in this case).
Show us what your character sees.
Describe the smells that surround this moment.
What sounds reverberate around the couple?
How does the kiss taste?
What does the character feel or how does he/she feel?
Notice the underlined words. These are our senses. These are your tools to create that Sizzle. A truly Sizzling kiss uses at least three of the five at least five times. (Yes, when I'm drawing my scenes I count them… the key here is that the reader wants to experience that kiss so you want it to last. Think at least a good paragraph and when you get really good two pages… (I'm not at that point yet.)
Let's use a generic kiss.
Kate kissed Jeremy.
…….Boring….
Note that we said Kate first, so it is her point of view, not Jeremy's.
What does Kate see? The golden flecks in Jeremy's brown eyes.
What does Kate smell? Jeremy's musky cologne.
What does Kate hear (this goes with sounds)? The birds gentle lilt in the trees overhead.
What does Kate taste? Maybe the beer on his breath---ick. Jeremy tastes smooth, like special dark chocolate.
What does Kate feel? Most commonly ? Jeremy's hard muscles.
What about the emotion Kate feels? Kate feels her desire.
Before you scroll down, I encourage you to write these five things into your scene. I promise that there will be as many unique scenes written as there are individuals that write them. Our job as writers/authors is to draw one scene, colored though it may be by the reader's personal experience.
Now, before we see what yours truly draws for Kate's scene, let's find out what Jeremy's scene might look like.
Remember: Jeremy kissed Kate.
For a guy that might be enough, but not the romance reader… they want more and the more you give them, the more they will want to come back for more.
What did Jeremy see? Careful, guys attention is not always the same as a woman's. Be sure you stay true to the character - male in this case. Jeremy saw her curves and the firm plumpness of her lips.
What did Jeremy smell? Jeremy smelled her perfume, the clean freshness washed by the rain, the tantalizing scent of his Harley's leather.
What did Jeremy hear? The roaring of Harleys in the distance, her breathing and soft sighs.
What did Jeremy taste? Okay here is where we need what the character says in Golden Eye (James Bond)? She tastes like sweet strawberries.-- Jeremy tastes the sweet strawberries on her lips.
What does Jeremy feel? Remember external and internal. External - The warmth of the sun's rays. Internal - his heart beat speed up and if you feel real daring the pressure below his belt. Be careful on that last one! It can throw your kiss to the erotica real fast.
Now, we have left Kate long enough but remember you can only submit this, or write it from one point of view. For your writing, there is only this rule.
Use at least three senses, five times. Easy. I personally like to start with what surrounds the character and focus the reader's lens tighter as the scene evolves. So to do that, let's shuffle the senses to: sounds, smell, external feeling, sight, taste, Internal feeling. Notice that I separated what the character feels.
Kate Kissed Jeremy.
The birds continued their gentle lilt in the trees overhead. ---sound---
Kate breathed deep, trying to catch her breath, catching the gentle musky aroma of Jeremy's cologne, unique and all male. ---smell---with a touch of feeling in her breath.
She leaned into him, feeling the solid muscle of his chest. ---external feeling---
He lifted her chin and her gaze focused on the golden flecks in his brown eyes, so warm and inviting. The message in them tilted from the humor of the previous moment to the heat of this one. ---sight--- with a touch of more feeling and a bit of background.
He smiled as if daring her to make good on her threat. ---more sight---
Unwilling to back down to this dangerous man, she skittered her hands to his broad shoulders and reached for his lips with her own. She only intended to give him a quick peck, but one taste of the smooth dark chocolate of his mouth and her knees buckled. ---taste--- feeling, both external and internal as we draw the reader's lens tighter.
Her desire bolted to new heights, his challenge winning over her own. ---inner feeling---
We learned a whole lot about this scene with the showing. Let's see what we can learn if the scene is written from Jeremy's point of view. Again, let's start with the setting somewhat and focus the lens tighter with each sentence.
The other Harley's roared in the distance, leaving them alone as the sun broke through the clouds, warming the small forest clearing. ---sound---and sight--
Jeremy smiled, letting his eyes linger over her curves. Appreciating each one, he focused on the plump, scarlet firmness of her lips. --sight---we added a bit, didn't we?
The rain had stopped, and for the first time he noticed the delicate bouquet of her perfume, floral yet hinting of berries. Rather than distracting from the warm animalistic smell of leather, her scent danced and entwined with it. --smell--
Her chest rose and fell as if she might dart away. Instead of bolting, she leaned into him, lacing her hands to his shoulders. She paused, driving him wild with anticipation. His heart pounded in his chest. He stepped closer, pinning her against his Harley. --sight, internal feeling, touch--
She'd cave. It was only a joke to her, but not to him. If she didn't make good on her challenge, he would be sure to make good on his own. Her kiss started soft, but he couldn't let it stop there. Her lips tasted like strawberries from the lip-gloss she wore. He devoured it and her mouth. She answered with kisses of her own and infuriatingly sensual sighs. ---touch, taste, sound--
His own body's reaction caught him off-guard, she leaned into him so innocent, so trusting. He let her, sensing his heart pound, skip, an engine in need of tuning all the while feeling his pressure build below his belt. --internal feeling--
The wise writer will walk away here unless they intend to step over the erotic lines.
Which one is better? That depends on the detail needed for the story. Maybe you, the writer need to remind the reader of Kate's challenge to Jeremy or maybe you, the writer, need to tell us that the other characters have left the scene. The key goes back to the Don’t's. Don't spring the kiss on the reader without just cause. Don't expect your reader to fall in love if you haven't. Don't neglect your senses. Don't let it be just a "They kissed." Don't tell us, the readers, that it was sensuous, show us.
Stay in one character's head (or body in this case). Show us what your character sees. Describe the smells that surround this moment. What sounds reverberate around the couple? How does the kiss taste? What does the character feel or how does he/she feel?
You can master the Sizzling Kiss! Now I expect awesome kisses for July…
Don't spring the kiss on the reader without just cause.
Don't expect your reader to fall in love if you haven't.
Don't neglect your senses.
Don't let it be just a "They kissed."
Don't tell us, the readers that it was sensuous, show us.
The Do's don't list isn't like the Don'ts (Don't you hate me now!) lol
They run more like: Stay in one character's head (or body in this case).
Show us what your character sees.
Describe the smells that surround this moment.
What sounds reverberate around the couple?
How does the kiss taste?
What does the character feel or how does he/she feel?
Notice the underlined words. These are our senses. These are your tools to create that Sizzle. A truly Sizzling kiss uses at least three of the five at least five times. (Yes, when I'm drawing my scenes I count them… the key here is that the reader wants to experience that kiss so you want it to last. Think at least a good paragraph and when you get really good two pages… (I'm not at that point yet.)
Let's use a generic kiss.
Kate kissed Jeremy.
…….Boring….
Note that we said Kate first, so it is her point of view, not Jeremy's.
What does Kate see? The golden flecks in Jeremy's brown eyes.
What does Kate smell? Jeremy's musky cologne.
What does Kate hear (this goes with sounds)? The birds gentle lilt in the trees overhead.
What does Kate taste? Maybe the beer on his breath---ick. Jeremy tastes smooth, like special dark chocolate.
What does Kate feel? Most commonly ? Jeremy's hard muscles.
What about the emotion Kate feels? Kate feels her desire.
Before you scroll down, I encourage you to write these five things into your scene. I promise that there will be as many unique scenes written as there are individuals that write them. Our job as writers/authors is to draw one scene, colored though it may be by the reader's personal experience.
Now, before we see what yours truly draws for Kate's scene, let's find out what Jeremy's scene might look like.
Remember: Jeremy kissed Kate.
For a guy that might be enough, but not the romance reader… they want more and the more you give them, the more they will want to come back for more.
What did Jeremy see? Careful, guys attention is not always the same as a woman's. Be sure you stay true to the character - male in this case. Jeremy saw her curves and the firm plumpness of her lips.
What did Jeremy smell? Jeremy smelled her perfume, the clean freshness washed by the rain, the tantalizing scent of his Harley's leather.
What did Jeremy hear? The roaring of Harleys in the distance, her breathing and soft sighs.
What did Jeremy taste? Okay here is where we need what the character says in Golden Eye (James Bond)? She tastes like sweet strawberries.-- Jeremy tastes the sweet strawberries on her lips.
What does Jeremy feel? Remember external and internal. External - The warmth of the sun's rays. Internal - his heart beat speed up and if you feel real daring the pressure below his belt. Be careful on that last one! It can throw your kiss to the erotica real fast.
Now, we have left Kate long enough but remember you can only submit this, or write it from one point of view. For your writing, there is only this rule.
Use at least three senses, five times. Easy. I personally like to start with what surrounds the character and focus the reader's lens tighter as the scene evolves. So to do that, let's shuffle the senses to: sounds, smell, external feeling, sight, taste, Internal feeling. Notice that I separated what the character feels.
Kate Kissed Jeremy.
The birds continued their gentle lilt in the trees overhead. ---sound---
Kate breathed deep, trying to catch her breath, catching the gentle musky aroma of Jeremy's cologne, unique and all male. ---smell---with a touch of feeling in her breath.
She leaned into him, feeling the solid muscle of his chest. ---external feeling---
He lifted her chin and her gaze focused on the golden flecks in his brown eyes, so warm and inviting. The message in them tilted from the humor of the previous moment to the heat of this one. ---sight--- with a touch of more feeling and a bit of background.
He smiled as if daring her to make good on her threat. ---more sight---
Unwilling to back down to this dangerous man, she skittered her hands to his broad shoulders and reached for his lips with her own. She only intended to give him a quick peck, but one taste of the smooth dark chocolate of his mouth and her knees buckled. ---taste--- feeling, both external and internal as we draw the reader's lens tighter.
Her desire bolted to new heights, his challenge winning over her own. ---inner feeling---
We learned a whole lot about this scene with the showing. Let's see what we can learn if the scene is written from Jeremy's point of view. Again, let's start with the setting somewhat and focus the lens tighter with each sentence.
The other Harley's roared in the distance, leaving them alone as the sun broke through the clouds, warming the small forest clearing. ---sound---and sight--
Jeremy smiled, letting his eyes linger over her curves. Appreciating each one, he focused on the plump, scarlet firmness of her lips. --sight---we added a bit, didn't we?
The rain had stopped, and for the first time he noticed the delicate bouquet of her perfume, floral yet hinting of berries. Rather than distracting from the warm animalistic smell of leather, her scent danced and entwined with it. --smell--
Her chest rose and fell as if she might dart away. Instead of bolting, she leaned into him, lacing her hands to his shoulders. She paused, driving him wild with anticipation. His heart pounded in his chest. He stepped closer, pinning her against his Harley. --sight, internal feeling, touch--
She'd cave. It was only a joke to her, but not to him. If she didn't make good on her challenge, he would be sure to make good on his own. Her kiss started soft, but he couldn't let it stop there. Her lips tasted like strawberries from the lip-gloss she wore. He devoured it and her mouth. She answered with kisses of her own and infuriatingly sensual sighs. ---touch, taste, sound--
His own body's reaction caught him off-guard, she leaned into him so innocent, so trusting. He let her, sensing his heart pound, skip, an engine in need of tuning all the while feeling his pressure build below his belt. --internal feeling--
The wise writer will walk away here unless they intend to step over the erotic lines.
Which one is better? That depends on the detail needed for the story. Maybe you, the writer need to remind the reader of Kate's challenge to Jeremy or maybe you, the writer, need to tell us that the other characters have left the scene. The key goes back to the Don’t's. Don't spring the kiss on the reader without just cause. Don't expect your reader to fall in love if you haven't. Don't neglect your senses. Don't let it be just a "They kissed." Don't tell us, the readers, that it was sensuous, show us.
Stay in one character's head (or body in this case). Show us what your character sees. Describe the smells that surround this moment. What sounds reverberate around the couple? How does the kiss taste? What does the character feel or how does he/she feel?
You can master the Sizzling Kiss! Now I expect awesome kisses for July…
2 comments:
Thanks for posting these tips! I needed them! Now to attempt writing one of my own...
You are welcome! dose this mean you are entering the contest in July? I'd love to see your work!
Post a Comment