A Week of Trials for some of my dearest friends. You know who you are and I’m aware that some of those visiting here have similar trials.
To those of you dealing with the recent diagnosis of cancer in one of its many forms—I send my love and prayers that your difficulties may be minimal, both of body and mind. May the Lord bless you with comfort and doctors that are interested in your wellbeing and not their pocket books.
(Deep breath). To those mourning/grieving the loss of a loved one. I send my deepest sympathy and heartfelt love. In the coming hours of deepest pain try to accept that in spite of the denial that death is a very real part of life, it is. Knowing that others have and will experience what you are going through may not help, but there is a far better place for your loved ones, and you too.
And to both groups: Although there are those around you that need you to be strong right now, there are those who invite you to literally fall apart with their loving arms wrapped tightly around you. Take advantage of those moments that refill your soul’s bucket of love and strength.
There is a semi-bitter truth in the mourning/grieving process. Believe me when I tell you that in losing a part of yourself, you go through the same mourning process as that of the loss of a loved one. The fact is that there are five steps in the mourning process. In order for you to complete your “closure” you will taste them all. There is no set course through the landmines of mourning and grief. You may enjoy (said with tongue-in-cheek) one of more of these very briefly, but others may sap your strength for a long period of time. You may even think you have crossed the course unscathed only to find years later that you stumble upon a landmine that explodes in your face. Such has been the case for me.
There may be a way to prepare for the landmines of mourning and grief, but if there is, I’ve not found it. So I can only remind you to be gentle with yourself and those around you through this difficult and treacherous time. Lest you think I’ve forgotten, these are the five very real landmines you must face at this time. Remember that there is no rule book declaring the order of these, nor rules for how to handle each one.
Denial (often experienced as the shock wears thin)
Anger (This may be targeted toward self, others, or unrelated situations and people.)
Bargaining (It should have been me. If only . . .)
Depression (May last days or even years. Keep an eye on this one.)
Acceptance (Oh the healing balm of this one.)
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Celia Yeary is a eighth-generation Texan, and her life revolves around family, friends, and writing. San Marcos has been her home for thirty...
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Where is Your Heart? by: Dorothy R. Crofts http://www.amazon.com/ also available at Barnes and Noble "Dorothy's poetry puts a ne...
2 comments:
Lovely post, Shaunna. One kind of death that especially hard to deal with is suicide. My sister-in-law's dear friend of 30 years recently took her life, and my SIL is really struggling. I understand because my first husband did, too. There's all the expected shock and grief, but it's amplified by the guilt. If only I'd recognized the signs, realized that s/he was really saying this. The Lord will help us through it, but that doesn't mean the journey still won't be tough.
Donna,
Thank you for sharing your comment concerning suicide. This is one kind of death I have not experienced, from what some consider or call the "second seat." Hang in there and especially to God, no matter what form of God He is to you personally. He loves each of us and will, if called upon, succor your soul.
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