"I'm
sorry Porsche," Trevor murmured, touching her.
She
shivered.
"I
didn't realize, I didn't mean what I said. You've been wonderful to help me.
Please reconsider."
Porsche
sniffled.
"Porsche,"
he moved his hands to offer her his support.
"Don't
touch me," she twisted away from him.
He
took a big step toward her, wrapping his arms around her. She struggled against
him, writhing to free herself. "I won't force you, Porsche. Go to your
happy place."
"I
don't want that happy place," she snarled, still struggling.
"No
one will hurt you there."
"You
will."
"I
won't. I promise," Trevor soothed, trying to get her to stop fighting him.
"How
can I trust you again?" she gasped.
"Tell
me about your happy place."
"I
can't," she rasped.
"Tell
me so I can help you go there again." Why was she fighting him like this?
It didn't make sense.
"You
don't want me there. And I don't want to be there." She stood with her
head down, her arms hanging limp.
"Why
wouldn't I want you to go to your happy place?"
"You
don't want me in your arms. You want me on horseback," she whispered.
Trevor
gulped. Did she just say her happy place
is in my arms? A sense of pride welled up in him. She cared enough about
him to consider him safe. He'd wanted her to trust him but hadn't expected
this.
"Of
course…" Trevor turned her to him. He pulled her to him. He needed to man
up and reassure her. "I want you here."
Cautiously,
he pulled her closer to him, her nose nearly squished against him. She turned
her head to accommodate his embrace.
The
horses nickered in the heavy sunlight, its heat radiating off the blackened
rocks marking the edge of the butte.
He
kissed her brow, causing her hat to slip backwards and fall to the ground again.
"I'm honored that you would, if only for a moment, consider my arms a safe
place to give you strength to overcome your fears."
"It
wasn't your arms that were my safe place." Stunned, he released her enough
for her to slip from his arms to retrieve her hat. "The way you were
holding me just reminded me of my dad. His arms have always been my safe place.
I'm always safe with him, even when I'm hurt, I know he'll keep me safe."
"Oh."
The previous pride her words had engendered in Trevor dropped, smashing his ego
with calloused precision.
"Besides,
I'm not frightened of riding anymore. You helped me back there and I thank
you."
"You're
welcome…" Like he was about to let her put him on the roller coaster of this
conversation. Not.
"It
isn't safe up there in the ravine," she stated.
"Why
not?" At least she had changed the subject to a more stable topic.
"There's
a nest of rattlers near there. They like to come out of their hiding places to
warm themselves. By now they'll probably be hiding in the shade to normalize
their temperatures and that is when they are the most dangerous. A horse stirs
them up and they coil to strike."
Seriously?
Rattlesnakes? He refused to let her unnerve him. "But we'll hear them
rattle."
"Not
always."
"So
we'll skirt the ravine and I'll explore it another day." He wanted to
chide her for yet another excuse, one of her many. The chicken coop, work, horses difficult to be caught, fear of riding,
and now rattlesnakes. Stay calm…and in control.
"Fine,
but don't call me if your horse bucks you off and you get bit by a
rattler."
"I
really doubt that I'll get thrown. I haven't been thrown since I was a kid and
that was because the horse refused at a jump. Neither of these two has dumped
me yet." He mentally scowled himself for revealing any of his past.
"You've
only ridden Buck."
"Not
really. I've been schooling both of these boys since your dad said I could ride
them. You remember the night he asked you to go riding with me, don't
you?"
Porsche's
jaw dropped. "That's why…"
Victory! He let a wry smile curl the corner of
his lips. "They were in the short pen, easier to catch, the farrier arrived
this morning, and they are a bit easier to ride… Your dad said 'yes' if I was
willing to 'do the dirty work' so to speak. I was, and I did. It wasn't too terribly
dirty and it's done. Now we can continue our ride. Are you willing to?"
Trevor returned to his maps, gathering them. He folded them and stuffed them
back into the saddlebag. She better be willing, or he'd somehow make her.
"Yes,
I will ride. Just not up there by that snake pit."
Not
the answer he hoped for, but it wasn't a complete 'no'. He waited for her to
mount before leading the way down the narrow path. They went slow, allowing the
horses to pick their way. Leaving the trail and riding on the hillside rather
than the steep trail, Trevor looked back at her. If he could get her to really
enjoy the ride, would she bend her firm resolve? She acted confident in the
saddle, was she?
"You
feel like stretching their legs?"
"Um…"
Porsche stammered.
Stay close to her and she'll give me
another excuse. No way I'm taking any more of them. Trevor urged Buck into a gallop,
pushing for the lone cottonwood. He overtook it before pulling Buck up. She
wasn't anywhere close. He'd wait in the shade while she moseyed her way to him.
Maybe she was afraid of riding or maybe she was a real good actress, but he
came up here for a reason and it wasn’t to spend his day explaining his motives
or coercing her.
The
female was downright irritating. Sure, she wanted to be held and coddled, but
only when it suited her. When it didn't suit her she had dozens of excuses. He
should have seen her game from the beginning. She probably ran a daily log of
why a smile in his direction would break her. Oh, I already smiled for three customers. I can't possible spare even
one more for Trevor. Oh, we can't go riding today. I'm scared I'll break
another nail.
Porsche
came into view, keeping Duke at a stilted walk.
"What
happened to you? I thought we were going to stretch their legs."
"Stretch
their legs, yes. Run out of control, no."
Run out of control. Another excuse. He had full control
of Buck the whole time. What was her problem? He kept himself busy with his
internal dialogue and tuned in when she mentioned 'herd fever.'
"I didn't think of that. Ralph said Buck would be the difficult one
and he was." Trevor had focused on getting Duke to respond to his cues.
He'd succeeded but apparently all his hard work had been for not, by the sound
of it. He would like to ride Duke and
learn if this was just another excuse from her. "I never even considered
that Duke would follow him without regard to his rider. I'm sorry. Do you want
to trade horses?"
