Kinds of Expose

We just saw a bunch of expose across the board… expose blended into a scene, action instead of it, and awaking images instead of explaining. So, let’s go a little further:

We can cut expose into three practical categories at this point, for writing/editing purposes :

1. Expose that can be tweaked on the spot (sometimes). And

2.  Expose that takes planning.

3. Villain expository

Let’s look at each of them closer:

1.     Expose that can be tweaked on the spot (sometimes)

Most of these types of expository can be tweaked and reworked on the spot, through editing:

·        Actions through physicality, body language, tone, etc, that help us understand a character better… also…

·        world building through doing rather than telling - acting within the world: like, pulling the shutters if it’s too bright, or making the coffee in the futuristic coffee pot instead of explaining that it’s futuristic and works as follows, etc.

But the other type of expository to be fixed, is something that takes more planning... and really from the get go. And that’s not so tweakable expose: Interweaving info dumps throughout the story for plot necessity.  (Not so easily tweakable)

Let’s go through the easier, tweak-on-the-spot expose, a little further:

·        Expository in action. Shrugs, body language, scars: Physical things that tell the story for you.

A) Whether it's a personality trait (hard and quiet, soft and meek, well-fed and fat, thin and starving, alone and craving companionship, hurt and craving silence, tough life not needing people, etc.... )

B) Or a physical thing itself: a scar, an ability (martial arts, driving, knife throwing, mechanic, etc...)....

C) Or a character’s expression: such as a reaction. A shrug instead of saying someone doesn’t care, a wince instead of saying someone was hurt by what was said, an eye roll  instead of saying someone is annoyed, etc...

D) or lastly, an action itself, instead of an explanation of an action.  (think futuristic coffee-pot)

Frankly, this is simply writing technique, and can be worked on without significant changes to a script. Unless of course you decide your character now needs ninja-knife throwing abilities to show the childhood she had growing up in an ancient army of the dead… that’s gonna take a little more than tweaking.

Which takes us to our next type of expository writing:

2.                 Expose that takes planning,

or expository told through storytelling. This is the more difficult task. It takes structuring; intertwining info in small snippets throughout your plot. This takes crafting, outlining, knowing your story.

TIP: Slight tip here… when you’re struggling with this, and say trying to avoid having the main character talk about their past in an info-dump, consider having other characters tell the expose snippet… but do it as quickly as possible.

Example:

      What's her issue?" I asked, still nurturing my shot ego back to life.

      "Don't ask." Libby said with a shake of her petite head.

      "Too late."

      She sighed, but offered nothing.

      "What?” I pushed. I could feel my mouth twitch into an ugly grimace, but couldn’t help myself. “We all have freakin’ issues, is hers so bad?"

      Libby’s eyes snapped up to mine, hard and cold. "Depends on whether you think seeing your entire family wiped out in front of you is bad, jackass."

      I felt my mouth open, but I couldn’t get anything out.

      She turned then, without another word, and walked away.

Now we know stuff about an entirely different character, and they weren’t even in the scene to tell us!

And lastly, this is a little side venture that’s more specific than the general aspects of expository writing we just covered... But it’s a thing of mine, a strong pet peeve, so I’m gonna talk about it like it’s its own type of expository.  (It’s really not… it’s actually part of story-telling expository, the “untweakable-quickly” type of expo. The type that needs awareness from the start of you crafting your ms).

AND THAT IS:

3.                 Villain expository!

This last type of expository really bothers me, to no end… but it’s the one that’s most rampant – because it’s the hardest to hide. It’s the hardest to weave into the story without giving certain plot twists away too early. And therefore, we’re more often than not, dealing with the Villain’s reasoning for what they’ve been doing all along, for really what is going on in the story, this reasoning and explanation offered in one large info dump. And what makes it worse, is that it normally comes smack at the end of the story, at the height of conflict. So there’s all this tension, and nerve, and action… and then, hang on a moment… let me explain my thoughts to you while you’re tied up and waiting for me to kill you.

Holding the protagonist hostage while the villain explains EVERYTHING, is never realistic, it always feels like an info dump… and it tends to push your reader to say to themselves: "Just kill him already."

If you work on anything, make sure you work on this. It takes good planning, and there is no quick fix.

Okay, on to the fun part: EXERCISES!

These are exercises to work on how to spot and tweak expository writing. I call these “exercises in fixing info-dump “one-liners” because these exercises deal with basic, quick-fix, line items.

Change spoken explanation to physicality, (shrugs, eye rolls, wry smiles etc…) I myself am a big fan of using body language and expressions as conversation elements. It not only creates feeling, but also replaces a lot of expository speech.

Annoyance: eye roll, exhale, loud sigh, arm crossing, jaw clenching, teeth grinding, balled fists, etc.

Anger: clenched fists, ball in the jaw (love that for a guys), eyes narrowed, nostril flares, hands moving somewhere – neck, hair, etc…

It helps to think of your own gestures, or what we see in movies (cause they’re dramatic) when people are showing an emotion. The ancient Greeks used to have specific hand gestures to show emotion. They were the same for every play – and they did this to make sure those who couldn’t hear, way back in the nosebleed seats, could still follow the show. Well, we’re kinda doing that here, but in a more natural way… So what are our natural gestures to convey emotions – especially when we are speechless.

Exercise 1

Let’s say these two are friends, but the guy is about to ask her to be more than just friends.

“So I was thinking…” he began. He was obviously nervous and uncertain. His confidence gone.  

I was amused at his weirdness and worry, and waited for an answer.

If she’s feeling amused, what would she do to convey that? What would anyone do to show that? Something without speaking. I was thinking a bemused smile. Have you ever done that? A friend’s acting weird and you just look at them like they’re crazy…

Let’s tweak these sentences a bit:

“So I was thinking…” he began. He was obviously nervous and uncertain. His confidence gone.  

Could be :

“So I was thinking…” he said, looking down, his left leg jittering like he was on crack.

And:

I was amused at his weirdness and worry, and waited for an answer.

could instead be. . .

I waited, holding his gaze, and unable to control bemused smile that spread my lips.

Full Change:

“So I was thinking…” he said, looking down, his left leg jittering like he was on crack.

I waited, holding his gaze, and unable to control bemused smile that spread my lips.

Exercise 2

Scene on street between two friends. One has listened to the others petty problems for a very long time, and finally can’t any longer.

      “Janey, I can’t stand any more of your bull, I need a break.”

      “What?” Janey looked at me, really hurt by what I just said. But I didn’t care. I was sick of it, sick of her, and sick of all her crap.

      “What do you-”

      “Whatever,” I said cutting her off, not wanting to talk anymore, not wanting to explain myself. I turned and walked away, so I wouldn’t have to.

Okay, let’s start with Janey being hurt – how can we convey Janey’s hurt without saying she is hurt? How about we make her features cracking a bit.

Her face broke a little, the crease between her eyes deepening. “What?”

And now… how do we convey that the protag doesn’t care, doesn’t even want to explain? This is a harder action to work out. But again, rely on your own reactions.

“Janey, I can’t stand any more of your bull, I need a break.”

Her face broke a little, the crease between her eyes deepening. “What?”

I felt so tired, sick even. I just couldn’t do this anymore.

“What do you-“

“Whatever,” I cut her off, shaking my head out of this conversation completely, then stalked away.

Just a quick note here… obviously these exercises are extreme – for exercise sake. Your whole novel doesn’t want to be a sequence of facial expressions that replace all language. But using these replacement wisely and even leaning towards them more than explanation, can create an energy within the pages of your novel. It’s action, It keeps the reader alert and imagining – working. Instead of simply being fed a story.

Exercise 3

The next example is more show me how your world works instead of telling me. It’s world based, and is just as important as character based. There are way too many sci-fi prologues out there that explain every detail of how a world works before we even get to the action. Start with action, your reader is smart, they’ll get it.

Angry, Deidre ran to her small space cruiser, the size of car, which would take her far away from here and well into space if she wanted. It was a spaceship after all. Most teens had them her on Zion. She got in, and put her thumb to the print-activated ignition scan button to turn on the small ship. At her touch it vibrated then jolted to life. She grabbed the wheel of the ship, then took the motor-boat like throttle in her hand, pulling back to the fastest position. She was an avid driver, and liked to go fast, so she wasn’t surprised at the lurch in her stomach when the ship took off into the atmosphere, heading towards space.

Okay, before we discuss, read this one in comparison.

Deidre jumped into the cruiser and slammed her thumb on the ignition button. The ship rumbled, then sparked to life, jolting her body forward before idling. She took the wheel and slammed the accelerator back at full throttle, feeling the comfy lurch in her stomach as the cruiser shot into the air towards the break in the horizon between sky and stars.

What do you like better?

I personally prefer two – I believe you should say what you need to say in as little words as possible… and actions help that.

PART 1 –LINE EXPOSITORY

Okay… so in the grand scheme of things, what these vague phrases really mean, is: Create solid storytelling.

Before we jump into it, couple points to remember:

1.     Write your novel with care. In some areas show-don’t-tell CAN be implemented, fixed. But for the most part, it is part of your story and how you choose to tell that story… how you choose to execute it.  A skilled author, or good story teller, will implement exposition throughout their story, so there are no info dumps that need blending later on. This is the easiest way to work on action-over-expository, to consider it to begin with, to know exactly where you want the reader to know what.

2. Skillful story-telling isn’t just starting at Chapter 1 and finishing with the end. It’s setting up your story, and revising it when you get stuck with too much information coming out too quickly, or too much.  It’s making sure that the pacing and information leaking is in balance.  AND…

3.     All of this, times 100, when writing for teens. Teens can smell a disruption in a story a mile away, and they are not sympathetic or understanding about it. Certain things we get away with in adult fiction just don’t fly in kids (and of course vice-versa). Crafting your story expertly is expected. Action must keep moving, and if there is introspection, it needs to be about present feelings, with only light references to the past... Not full blown explanation.

4.     Given, sometimes we have to expose. There's no option: the story calls for it, or there just is no other way to get the info to the reader. But... This last resort should only come after you have crafted your story with most of your background weaved throughout. And when you find you must do this exposé, you still need to be subtle.

Let’s look at some examples of real passages compared to the same passage rewritten expositorily.

Example 1

This is in the first chapter of the Hunger Games, rewritten expositorily, rather than with action and images, and subtlety.

I wake up in our scratchy, uncomfortable bed. It’s scratchy and uncomfortable because it’s made out of hard, cheap, canvas… because we don’t have a lot of money. In fact, we have none really. I share a bed with my sister, while my mother sleeps in the other bed in the room. But my sister isn’t in bed with me this morning. Instead, I look over and see her in my mother’s bed. She must’ve gotten up during the night, and climbed in with her instead. She probably had a nightmare, she has them a lot. Mainly about something that happens yearly here, something bad called the Reaping.

Here is the original passage:

“When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.”

Which do we like better? The original passage. Why?

·        It creates feeling, invokes senses, musters images… there’s a tactility to it.

·        It gives info quickly, but subtly… through action and observation.

Let’s have a closer look

“When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.”

As yourself, what do you know immediately? She  doesn’t sleep alone.  How does Collins tell us this? She doesn’t say: Prim normally sleeps with me. Instead she describes the bed, in the present, without Prim there… which makes us conclude that Prim normally sleeps with her. Showing, not telling.

Next:

“When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.”

What do you know here? She sleeps with someone she cares about. How? Katniss reaches for prim… she wants to touch her, and describes her as warm.  They cuddle, yes to keep warm… but it’s said simply, with care. She wouldn’t “seek” that which she doesn’t want, but must use for warmth.

Next:

“When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.”

What do we learn? The mattress sounds uncomfortable. Perhaps they were poor, unable to afford a nicer bed. How? Rough, canvas cover – sounds itchy, cheap, economical at best.

And lastly…

When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of the reaping.”

Again, what do we know? The reaping is bad. How? Katniss casually alludes to Prim’s nightmares about it … as if they happen so often, they’ve become routine. Which leads us to think that this “reaping thing” happens regularly as well.  Also… one other thing in that last line: Here, she introduces the reaping with a very casual reference, even though it’s the first one – and the event that pretty much sparks the book. She sets us up, prepping us that it’s bad – whatever it is – so she doesn’t have to go on about the reaping from point zero later on. It’ll already be in our heads because of this quick, initial reference – and we already know it’s bad.

All that, from 4 sentences. Action can offer a lot of explanation.

Example 2

Continuing with the Hunger Games—let’s getting deeper into exposition issues that you can’t avoid, but can make a little more subtle.

“I prop myself up on one elbow. There’s enough light in the bedroom to see them. My little sister, Prim, curled up on her side, cocooned in my mother’s body, their cheeks pressed together. In sleep, my mother looks younger, still worn but not so beaten-down. Prim’s face is as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as the primrose for which she was named. My mother was very beautiful once, too. Or so they tell me.”

So… with the simple lines:

“In sleep, my mother looks younger, still worn but not so beaten-down … My mother was very beautiful once, too. Or so they tell me.”

we immediately understand that there is an issue going on that has exhausted and aged her mother to a place where she’s no longer pretty. This idea suggests not disfigurement, or simply wrinkles, but a new way her mother holds herself. Such a change means a change in environment for a long time. Like the great depression. With a handful of sentences we now know more about this world and family, in an organic and intimate way… than simply explaining could ever offer. But sadly… this use of action and observation to offer exposition can’t always be so seamless and smooth. Sometimes a little more explanation is needed

Light expose:

As she explains her movement to get ready, slight expose happens:

“Our part of District 12, nicknamed the Seam, is usually crawling with coal miners heading out to the morning shift at this hour.”

But, see, this expose is light, and still mixes with the element of showing not telling. If coal miners are scurrying off to work, what’s the major work in the town? Why are they scurrying? What does that mean the people must look like in the town, and where does Katniss then live…?

What images does this simple sentence bring up?

-         mining community

-         worried workers

-         scurrying sounds like rats – lower economy status

-         shifts of work, again lower economic status

-         and… Their area doesn’t have a town name, it’s called District 12. And the people who live in it have had to nickname it the Seam…   What does that suggest? Perhaps Community? A shout-back to older days the workers want to remember?

Speculative, sure – but I’m thinking it… we won’t all visualize the same exact thing, but it’ll be in the ballpark of what the author needs us to imagine.

Next…

Full expose:

Then finally, when full exposition is needed, and there’s no way to show, or to blend the show… What do ya do?

“Inside the woods they roam freely, and there are added concerns like venomous snakes, rabid animals, and no real paths to follow. But there’s also food if you know how to find it. My father knew and he taught me some before he was blown to bits in a mine explosion. There was nothing even to bury. I was eleven then. Five years later, I still wake up screaming for him to run.”

Katniss is speaking about her dad and their time together. Obviously, we can’t show that. She has to talk about it.  (Unless you want to venture into flashback, and that’s a whole different can of worms).  So, why does this paragraph work here? It’s expose! FOR ME, it’s because Katniss talks about it while doing something else that reminds her of the memory… thus creating a natural motivation to talk about it. Walking in the woods, reminds her of when she and her father used to walk the woods together.  I’s clever and well placed, giving us a natural path into needed background story, but not feeling like the author is filling us in on something the story needs us to know. The expose is planned there in order to almost hide itself, to not feel like exposition… It’s feels like we’re simply seeing a memory of Katniss’, rather than her explaining to us something that would be hard to show.

Are there any other ways you might think of for Katniss to get this expose out? My big answer: A lot of people would explain this from a nightmare or a dream… But I like how Collins does it.

Hit The Ground Running: Storytelling Through Action, Not Exposition Part 1

By the great Heather (Hedda) Flaherty

(This is a long one since I used her notes.)

INTRODUCTION

Okay, so, Expository.  We all kinda get what it is… it means explanation. But it has a stigma to it, that it’s bad. And it is, IF it comes too much too quickly. It’s not over-all bad—we want to get into the characters’ heads, hear what they’re thinking, gain information through what they’re seeing and experiencing—but, in moderation of course.

There are couple types of exposition in writing:

1.     Line expository—smaller expository elements where a feeling or action is explained instead of shown. Like, “Jenny was annoyed at what I said” … Instead of “Jenny rolled ­­­­her eyes and walked away.” (Thus was created the phrase “Show me, don’t tell me.” Or “Action over Expository.”)

2.     Big info dumps—when the reader is given a characters back story in one giant full sweep of a paragraph, that stops the story in its tracks and winds up boring the reader to death.

More often than not, I find writers leaning on explanation of a situation rather than simply showing us the situation through action. It’s a tough balance to get, but one that will be well worth it in the long run.  So let’s get to it.

J. Scott Savage “Four-Part Pacing”

J. Scott Savage “Four-Part Pacing”

Plotting is about WHAT happens, whereas Pacing is about WHEN something has to happen. Books are often rejected because pacing is bad. Several Pacing Strategies: The Hero’s Journey The Snowflake Method http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/ar... Dan Wells’ Seven-Point Story Structure http://www.writingexcuses.com/2012/10/07...

The Big Picture What do I know? Divide story into meaningful chunks Ballpark *word count *words per chapter *number of chapters. Don’t stress how “exactly” stuff happens **Something amazing happens here

Savage figures 75000 words for a MG novel. At 1700 words per chapter, he calculates 44 chapters. He divides these into fourths. Chapters 1-11, 12-22, 23-33, 34-44

The Power of Fourths addresses what should happen in each section.

First Fourth 1) Setup with a good idea of the world. 2) “Buffy beginning” from TV show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” Start story with a conflict that is NOT the main conflict. Use this conflict to pull the reader into the story. Introducing the main conflict too early can ruin the story. By the end of the first fourth, the secondary conflict will be taken over by the main conflict. 3) Planting seeds (hidden foreshadowing) Plant clues for the reader that you will use later 4) Introduce ALL main characters. (Discuss?) DON’T wait until halfway through the book to introduce a main character. Savage says THIS is the most important part. First fourth ends when the journey begins.

Second Fourth 1) Set characters on a quest—often puts them on a false path. Reader may believe the story is going to go in a certain direction, but that direction will be changed by a twist. This is often caused by a main character NOT knowing something. 2) Make sure characters are active and not reactive. Even if your character is engaged in a losing battle, the reader needs something to root for. Savage says THIS is the most important part.

Third Fourth 1) Set characters on a true quest. Character realizes her mistake and sets off on the TRUE QUEST. Core beliefs are rocked. 2) Character realizes the magnitude of the task before her. What is the worst thing that could happen to your character? 3) Internal and external dilemmas collide. (MC’s beliefs collide with what is happening to her.) 4) Build up tension for the climax. Clock is ticking BUT give payoffs. Ends when car chase starts. Savage says THIS is the most important part.

 Fourth Fourth 1) Begins with major revelation. Something happens that makes everything clear. Stakes are high. No one can put the book down! 2) False success—Make the reader think she’s figured it out 3) “All is lost” Scenario is POWERFUL  4) Exciting climax with big payoff as multiple storylines collide 5) May also tell lessons learned/what is the takeaway Savage says THIS is the most important part.

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/ar...

Looks like that's as good as it gets. However if you click the links you do go to the pages

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/ar...http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/ar...

http://www.writingexcuses.com/2012/10/07...http://www.writingexcuses.com/2012/10/07...

Push Her Off the Roof: Escalating the Stakes

Melanie started out with having us draw a picture of our character. Then give the character what he or she wants.

We actually drew pictures.

Then we hurt our character and drew why we did it. Then discussed the feelings that came after.

All of this was to make sure we gave our character a big enough goal or conflict that changed them. And basically rip the rug out from under them, but with a good reason. So she talked about how to engage the reader in the character's plight. The reader will employ empathy while they're reading.

Painting a sad picture first and then giving them something happy releases the dopamine. Happiness after the pain registers strongly with the reader as though they're experiencing it.

Small hurts are bumps, bruises, etc. or inconveniences. Bigger hurts will move the story along but they don't change the arc of the novel. Transformational hurts make profound changes to the character permanently and change the story. i.e. A football player is so injured that he can't ever play ever again. He's paralyzed.

A guy's hand is cut off by the queen and he can't do his occupation anymore. She begins to regret her actions and changes. He changes as well and grows into the person he now is. (by the end of the story.) There are multiple types of hurt to employ in your story. Physical, emotional and sense of justice.

In every culture there is a sense of fair and what is not; and a deep sense of justice arises. Small can be name calling and that equals emotional hurt. Bigger level might be a break up. Also emotional hurt, but bigger. Transformational emotional hurt might be a divorce.

Physical transformation is loss of limb, cancer, brain injury. Complications have to MATTER

Does the reader want to get riled up with a sense of injustice? Is this a good way to engage the reader? Give characters something to love, relatable goals, and a powerful want

I think if you take the reader on the journey, then yes, have them care about the injustice and want it remedied. I think injustice is a great one. Like Scrooge brushing off Tiny Tim

I would write it so differently if I'm trying to build up a sense of injustice in the reader, than if I'm trying to engender sympathy from the reader. 

Fast Drafting: Boost Your Productivity Overnight

Writing 10,000 words a day. You can get to a point where you can out pace what you are doing.

Technique - How I went from 2,000 words a day to 10,000 words a day. Pick what works for you.  Know what you are going to write before you write it is number one.  If a scene goes sketchy or sideways you can cross it out. Dedicated five minutes of what I'm going to write today.  Three to five words snippets and go back and add to it. One five minute pre-write goes to whole scene. A whole scene equals on chapter.

Use note cards or write it down on a page.

When you have finished the full day just write a free sentence that you can do going forward. Start in drafting mode and don't change over to editing mode.

Have no internet access for writing time.

QQQ research for metaphors.  Use a searchable - replaceable.

Writing sprints

Loser has to post a funny joke or a picture of someone for the internet.

On Twitter #1k1hr

Word war.

I write network

Writing strategies.

Turn off the internet.

Hard to achieve a state of mind in flow with drafting to flow with editing. Just write and wait to go back to fix it later. Writing a short verse. Two hours that have to be filed with words. I just find thirty minutes or just find fifteen.  Most of the time you will find that you can do more.

Online critique groups can help you have more to show all the time.

It takes time to find the right one.

Don't be specific about how you write. It is all untrue that you have to have a specific time and space. Don't be precious about you process.

Research: What's the point?

Write what you know.  A soccer game, taking a splinter out. Usually boring.

Make a story rich as you take them on a journey. Any time I read something I need to provide the details. Details give an authenticity to a book. Accurate details instill trust in your books.  When you get it wrong you can suspend your beliefs.  Here is a compilation of resources. If used correctly, details can add depth to your story.

Chicago down by Lake Michigan has  super fierce grandmas, with glasses, red lips, and wear black.

If you go to Georgia they serve the kids first.  Here let's take care of the kids. Even at ward parties. An interesting tidbit of information.

What do people take for grant it? Is there a war that she takes for grant it.

Journal of 1812, add it had no comments to the war. It had been going on for so long she took it for grant it.

Natives are the first generation born to Australia.

What do people talk about and how do enunciate? Make sure it is appropriate to the time period. Did a word exist? Some characters use bad language? Even naughty words that are used.  Swear words are different.  It is regional.

1811 dictionary is authentic.

Calves are born in the winter of February, not spring.

Know jobs and hobbies.

Knowing a job as in a glass blower. Make it authentic.

Falconer talks to falconers.

Bee keepers need to talk to bee keepers.

Yard sales are not what they have in Minnesota. They have tag sales on Wednesdays. Culture is important.

 Idaho has a rodeo is important. She queened with me. What do they celebrate and how.

Oakley has a giant boom on the morning of July 4th which is dynamite.

Texas has a huge homecoming month.

Rumors play a nice place in a novel, Kay's Creek Crossing -- a haunted tree.

No uniforms in the early period of jails.

Clothing is important. Historical or science fiction. Regency novel pair of dirty britches or missing jacket is probably poor.  Right clothes for right time period.

Medieval Underwear and other  such things.

Greek Orthodox Church doesn't sit down. The priest sings  and chants the whole time. What does your character worship? Are they the only person that believes this way? How does it effect his life?

Boston streets are narrow. No one has a garage.

Fireflies are cool.

The air is filled with spices for South Africa.

There is that book that has too much setting.  It can take you out of the story.

Almanacs are super cool to find setting.

Writer friends that travel.

Maps are a great place for diagrams.

Don't be afraid to ask medical experts.

Teachers know a lot and what they don't know they know where to look.

Ask waiters with foreign accents.

People love to answer questions about themselves.

Document and save the stuff I've researched. So that you can defend your work.

Just to relax.

Happy Halloween

Boiled Bananas for bed?

Boil Bananas Before Bed And Drink The Liquid To Get Some Of The Best Sleep Of Your Life

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Experts say that the average adult needs between 7.5 to 8 hours of sleep each night. And you know what? I try my darndest to get all of that sleep in because sleep is incredibly important for both physical and mental health. Sleep is when our brain processes and organizes information, forming new memories. Sleep is when our body repairs muscles and releases hormones to regulate growth. Sleep is when I’m relaxing in my super comfy bed with fancy high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. Sleep is awesome. But despite all of this, I don’t always get my 7.5 to 8 hours of peaceful rest. And in many instances, it wasn’t because I didn’t give myself enough time.

You see, I’m not one of those people that can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Instead, I’m one of those people that toss and turn, and flip their pillow over and over, sometimes even agonizing when I’ll finally fall asleep. And on top of that, I’ll sometimes wake up all groggy in the middle of the night. Why? I have no idea.

I’ve tried a number of different tips and tricks to get myself to fall asleep quickly, and to get better quality sleep, but they’ve been hit and miss. One of the more obvious “solutions” was sleeping pills but they are hardly a permanent solution. Sleeping pills can have negative side effects you can become dependent on them, developing serious withdrawal symptoms once you stop taking them. Not good at all. So what to do? Well, let’s see what Mother Nature has for us…

Introducing banana tea! Banana tea is all-natural, inexpensive, easy to make and totally delicious. Bananas are high in magnesium and potassium, and this duo can do wonders for helping your body relax so that you can get the sleep that you need.

Ingredients

• 1 organic banana (you’ll be using the peel so make sure it’s free of chemicals and pesticides)
• pot of water
• dash of cinnamon

Instructions

1. bring pot of water to a boil
2. cut the ends off of the banana and peel it
3. place the banana and the peel in boiling water and leave it for about 10 minutes
4. strain the liquid through a colander and pour it into a mug
5. add the cinnamon
6. drink your banana tea before going to sleep!

Banana tea is a fantastic all-natural way to help you deal with your sleeping issues. Let us know if you give it a try and don’t forget to share this with your family and friends!

Read more at http://www.metaspoon.com/bananas-boil-sleeping-effect/?cat=exerheal#yiUykPIkV1OFotXS.99

Okay, I tried this. Night one I did sleep until 4:30 when I got up to make a potty trip. Then I was awake for an hour!
Night Two. I went to sleep much earlier than usual, before 10:00 pm but I was awakened at 11:45 pm with the need to go potty and stayed awake until after 2 am. Going to sleep was tough. I did do things a little different on this night. I pureed all of the drink after removing the skins. Tough to get it all down.

Un)realistic dialogue by Aprilynne Pike

As my second attempt to write down what I learned or relearned as the case may be.

If you can't recognize good dialogue when you hear it, it is hard to teach it. If you can tell when the dialogue is bad, you can learn to make it better.

Dialogue should be a text scene. Should have a balance of body language and little or few tags. Cut out about 2/3s of your realistic dialogue.

Your characters should be wittier, smarter, braver,etc. than your are on your best days. Cherry pick the best parts. Get it down to the very basics. I hate phone conversations and she avoids them whenever possible. Cut out all the unnecessary. Delete the hellos and the goodbyes. Try to cut out the interruption that we all do. Avoid that. Trust the reader to recognize the name. Delete all the bodily noises and nodding, etc.

Secondly your dialogue should be like a text TV show. TV show is gonna build the readers reportage with the character. Screenwriters don't have wasted dialogue or a wasted purpose.

She loves Gilmore Girls because it is so snappy. Everyone is smart and well-spoken. Avoid dialect, stuttering and excessive ahs or verbal ticks. Because they can be offensive. If you do it limit it to three lines.

You should have enough hints in your pros to show a reader how a character should sound. When you write dialogue you should have a lot of white space. Especially if it is supposed to be witty.

Speech tags are not needed. Use said, it is invisible. Try to use it whenever necessary. She likes the word hiss. If you can get away without speech tags, then do it. The most difficult conversation to write is a three way within the same gender.

A line of body language should replace a line of dialogue. Or a line about the character.
Read the dialogue out loud. Then maybe add something in. Best dialogue is better when it is written as it takes up lots of white space.

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My latest news is that my new novel,Halfback Hero will be released on November 1st. Reserve your copy now!

Feedback

You can enter your feedback for the question here. As in which cover do you prefer and why?

Oh heck, I can't get these two lined up so you can see them side-by-side. I guess I'll settle for one on top of the other! But you don't have to! Oh, and if you like the second one would you like it better if she had a sleeve on her shirt?

Elevator Pitch by Heidi Taylor

In an effort to put the classes I attended at the 2016 ANWA conference down on the proverbial written page.

What is an elevator pitch? Basically it is - What is your book about? It is a promise that your book will deliver on. Short and concise. Born on Sixth Avenue back in the day before social media when writers watched and waited for an editor to go to lunch and then rode the elevator to their floor with them. It is not a synopsis, as a synopsis tells everything - back cover copy.

An Elevator pitch is very formulaic.

 1) Who is your hero?

2) What is his or her goal? What is he/she trying to accomplish?

3) What is keeping him/her from accomplishing that goal?

4) What is at stake?

Difference between an elevator pitch and a synopisis. Synopsis tells more. It is back cover copy. Tells the reader a little bit more. So for an example we will do Star Wars- back to the first one, I think it is referred to as Number 4.

1) Who is the hero? Luke Skywalker

2) What is his goal?What is he trying to accomplish? Get the droids back to the princess.

3) What is keeping him from accomplishing his goal? Darth Vader wants the driods.

4) What is at stake? The rebel army will fall.

That is it in a nutshell. Present it in two or three sentences and go.

Tell me more. Is what the editor says.

Don't get stuck in the minutia.

Synopsis is something you can use in your query letter.