Building a Simmering Saturday Scene

Author Jordan Bollinger is sharing  some writing helps. You are welcome to visit her at http://jordanbollinger.blogspot.com/ or email her at jordanbollinger@rocketmail.com

Mini-Lesson - Adding Tension Between Characters


Today's mini-lesson is on building tension between characters. It is the gradual, yet continual, building of tension that makes for a great plot. Tension 'turns up the volume' on the story's conflict. It is this tension that 'your characters' are immersed in that makes them more real for the reader; and therefore, captures and pulls them into your story. And taking the reader captive is why you 'show', instead of 'tell'. However, for this lesson, I'm going to be 'telling' you about how they feel. Do Not Do This At Home!


There are two types of tension we have available: regular tension and sexual tension. Of course, we want a certain amount of sexual tension between our hero and heroine; and we want it to grow gradually. You want to make your reader 'beg for it' - for that sizzling first kiss, or initial more intimate encounter.

After thinking about this, I came up with several ways of creating, what we'll call 'regular tension'. If you sit and think about it for a while, I bet you can come up with some of your own. Mine are:

• Preconceptions

• Assumptions

• Conflicting ethics

• Miscommunications

Some ways of adding 'sexual tension' between characters are:

• Day dreaming

• Close physical proximity

• Having one party interact with others, or perform some physical task while the other party watches

• The use of double entendre and/or suggestive (or accidentally suggestive) conversation

Let's meet our 'soon-to be-blossoming' couple: Sarah and Mark. They are about to meet for drinks, after being setup by two friends - Danny and Grace. Mark and Danny have been friends most of their lives; and Sarah and Grace went through Catholic school together. Danny and Grace aren't a couple, just friends and co-workers.

After talking over lunch, they've decided that Mark and Sarah are perfect for each other. Grace has repeated Danny's description of Mark to Sarah verbatim, 'As a great guy!', which tells Sarah absolutely nothing about him. Which is why Sarah is looking at the steadily growing pile of discarded outfits on her bed and giving serious thought about just not going.

Of course, Grace's description of Sarah as 'having a bubbly personality' was no better. It has Danny convinced she's 'less than perfect'. And, of course he's passed this assumption on to Mark, who is considering standing Sarah up.

Isn't miscommunication wonderful? They haven't even met yet and both are nervous and having serious doubts.

Okay, now Sarah's found something she actually thinks she looks nice in, and has, perhaps after a serious lecture to herself, arrived five minutes early - because punctuality is extremely important to her. Mark arrives about ten minutes late, not concerned at all about his tardiness. Now Sarah's waiting for an explanation, and when she eventually says something he's starting to believe he's made an awful mistake.

Clash of ideology - it's a great way to not bound.

Once they get seated and order drinks, Mark asks Sarah about herself, which is good, right? Things are smoothing themselves out . . . until Sarah tells Mark about how she and Grace met in Catholic school; and goes on to tell how she still writes to several of the sisters. Now Billy Joel's 'Only the Good Die Young' is running through his head; and he's already feeling frustrated. (Hey, guys are guys - right?)

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Sarah sees his fallen face and reads it as he doesn't find her attractive.

Ooh! We got both assumption and pre-conceptions with that one.

The beauty is that they all work equally as well after they've gotten to know each other and started to fall in love. You just need to think about it, and you'll come up with ways of throwing a monkey wrench into their budding romance.

And, we haven't even touched on things others might say - to them or about them; meaning for them to hear it or not. That opens up even more possibilities.

So, let's move on to 'sexual tension' and get back to our hero and heroine. Mark broke up with his last girlfriend several months ago, and has been avoiding women in general. But, he has allowed himself a little bit of fantasying, which in turn has caused a 'rise in his libido'. He finds Sarah attractive, smart (he's never liked dumb girls) and has a great laugh. Maybe this could go somewhere - if not tonight, in the future.

And, since we're all modern women, we know women can fantasize too.

There's a little dance floor and, after some encouragement, Sarah agrees to take a little turn with Mark. Both find the other's perfume/cologne very nice. They also like the waythey feel  in each other's arms. In addition, because of the dim light, Sarah hadn't noticed how very green his eyes were, and Mark hadn't appreciated how rosy her complexion was. Their nauseousness has changed to that wonderful 'new romance' excitement.

Close physical proximity - it's a great way to 'raise' expectations!

Which, in case you haven't guessed, leads us to 'double entendres', flirty talk and careless, and sometime embarrassing, badly worded comments. Our hero and heroine have imaginations, as we discovered above. Even the most innocent of comments start the brain working. Now, you have to work on double entendres - you want them suggestive, but in a tasteful way - even if you've decided to cross over the line into erotica. After all, we're not writing porn!

Remember all those Bond movies with Sean Connery? He and Cubby Broccoli used to play a game of who could think of some little 'naughty' thing and dare the other to include it in the movie. That's where all those double entendres came from.

Here, I should also mention that you have the option of using questionable comments by others as a way of not only building tension between one or more main and secondary characters, but it adds tension between the main characters themselves. If Mark punches a drunk out because of some rude comment, it causes conflict and tension between the soon-to-be lovers, as well. Embarrassment and fear are great motivators.

This leads us to the last means on my list about building tension between our hero and heroine - having one character watch the other participating in some physical activity. I think that punching a guy out counts, but you don't have to use violence. Performing some brave deed, like saving a child from an approaching car, or executing a perfect dive off the high board will work just as well.

I trust you to understand that this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, but I hope it will give you something to think about.
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Thank you Jordan for sharing this. If you aren't a writer, we hope that you still enjoyed this and maybe next time you read that wonderful novel, you'll appreciate what the author has gone through to entertain you. Again, Jordan loves new followers as much as I do. So slip over to learn more from her at these links (Ooh, I hope they work--if not, copy and paste them.)

jordanbollinger.com
jordanbollinger.blogspot.com
jordanbollinger@rocketmail.com

It's Not About Her - Sizzling Kiss

It's Not About Her by Michelle Sutton (excerpt used with permission)
http://edgyinspirationalauthor.blogspot.com/

The idea of her purity held his attention, because that same innocence had captivated him once before, when he'd loved Annie. "So you've never kissed a guy?"

"No." Her eyes met his, glistening with emotion. Was that shame? Why? She had nothing to be ashamed of.

"Wow." Tony stared at her for several seconds. "I thought you and Chase…"

Choking on her tears, Deena cried, "I'm sorry we teased you."

Loosening his grip on her wrists, he paused. Then it suddenly occurred to him. She was embarrassed by her lack of experience.

Chase, being a nice guy, probably befriended her to boost her confidence, not because he was attracted to Deena.

His heart thumped as a soul-stirring impulse filled his mind and permeated his bones. "I could be your first…if you want."

Her eyes widened and she gasped, "My…first?"

His heart now slamming against his ribs, he smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Okay." Her cheeks reddened.

He could feel her small frame trembling underneath his weight. He hoped she wasn't afraid of him. He would never hurt her, or any girl for that matter.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he lowered his face until their lips met. The softness of her welcoming mouth surprised him as his lips clung to hers, drinking her in. He couldn't seem to pull away, and savored the taste of her a moment longer than he'd anticipated.

He hovered above her for several seconds, staring into her gorgeous eyes. She tasted pure and innocent, reminding him of Annie, only Deena's hungry mouth moving beneath his felt even more sensual and appealing.

As he observed the emotion displayed in her eyes, an unexpected earthquake of pleasure shook Tony to the core. Stunned by the intense emotion her kiss had brought to his soul, he sat up and released her hands. Never before had a simple kiss rocked his world to its very foundation.

To his surprise, he actually wanted to kiss her again. The thought startled him as his gaze lingered on her lips. His heart pounded until he could hear his pulse in his heartbeat.



You can buy It's Not About Her HERE http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-About-Second-Glance/dp/0983883661/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

Sizzling Kiss from Dark Days of Promise

Wondering how I put the exercise of writing a Sizzling Kiss together in my own work?
My first effort last fall  for your perusal.

(excerpt are unedited)
Going to the refrigerator, I pulled the gallon jug from the cold, shaking it.
“Oh those boys, I can’t seem to keep milk in the house. Looks like we’re almost out.” I pulled the last clean glass from the cupboard to pour the last of the milk. He stood to join me near the counter. The milk looked refreshing. I licked my lips in subconscious knowledge of the sweet coolness of the liquid.
“Why don’t you drink it?” He suggested, making a fist to cover the cough that escaped with his words.
“I couldn’t, I poured it for you.” I answered, offering the glass to him.
“You have a few swallows, then I’ll finish it.” He accepted the glass but didn’t lift it to his lips.
I gazed into the warm recesses of his eyes, overwhelmed with his nearness. My previous immunity to his charisma wilted before plunging into the warmth of his magnetism.
“Drink,” he ordered placing the glass in my hand.
“Yes sir,” I answered, lifting the glass to my lips while watching his eyes. They seemed to change, their color growing richer, warmer and more intense. I busied myself with swallowing and watching his eyes and didn’t notice when he reached in his pocket for the mistletoe again. When I handed the glass to him, he finished the milk with two large swallows. Smiling, he lifted the mistletoe above my head once more. I glanced up at it before returning my gaze to his eyes. My stomach flew to my throat. His presence overwhelmed me.
“Another kiss on the cheek?” I murmured the question with a smile.
He lowered the mistletoe while setting the empty glass on the counter. His gaze locked with mine. “Do you trust me?”
“Do I have a choice?” I whispered.
With the mistletoe still in hand, he placed it at the back of my head. I felt the strength of his fingers as they became entwined in my hair. My heart accelerated its beating dance, knowing a much more euphoric rush would accompany his kiss. More than his first visit, more than his peck on my cheek, more . . . A warm quiver of anticipation settled over me, fixing me to the spot. The music from the movie in the next room swelled, intensifying the moment. His lips brushed mine hinting of gingerbread and milk. In that instant, I wondered if I had ever truly experienced such a kiss. The gentle pressure was warm and sweet, inviting me to live in the moment. An experience that had eluded me in all my years with another . . . I couldn’t even remember his name. My adrenalin roller coaster revved its engine in my stomach before climbing with massive force in an upward motion before dropping to my deepest core. And yet it didn’t last long enough. He no sooner released my lips than I had the distinct feeling that he reclaimed everything he had just given me.

---Not enough sizzle? Stay tuned for more Sizzling Kisses and the second kiss between these characters--- but no promise as to the date as some wonderful authors are sharing theirs as well. *snicker -tease*

Reminder - The Sizzling Summer contest is 2 1/2 weeks away!

Sending out a personal invite to readers everywhere.

Announcing "The Sizzling Summer Contest".
The contest will run July 1st through July 31st.
Voting (by readers) will open July 29th and run through August 4th.

Have you got a kiss you'd like to share? Have you got what it takes to write a Sizzling Kiss?
You are invited to participate in sharing your best Sizzling Kiss.

1) Submit your "Sizzling Kiss" as an attachment to shassidy@comcast.net between July 1 and July 31. (Yes, I'm giving you time to polish that kiss.)
2) Include "Sizzling Kiss" in the subject line of your email.
3) Your entry must be between 100 and 500 words.
4) Sign your kiss with your first name and your blog address/link.
    Limit: one entry per blog addy

I am looking for at least ten (10) submissions/entries. If I get at least that many, there will be a prize awarded in addition to having your "Sizzling Kiss" posted here (with your name). The winner will receive a romantic suspense E-book, Dark Days of Promise by yours truly, due to be released in September.

Don't be shy. Now remember, this is just a kiss, not a bedroom scene. No erotica, I'm not allowed to post such so keep it sweetly warm and borderline sensual. Erotica will be disqualified. Published work cannot be submitted for contest.


Now remember, we have several examples of kisses already posted here as well as helps to writing a kiss that SIZZLES.

Remember, the dead line is July 31st. Send your submission, limited to a single scene to shassidy@comcast.net as an attachment. I must have at least 10 entries. All entries (except those that are erotic) will be posted here for voting the end of July and first of August. You must be a follower of this blog to vote and your vote/comment must be signed to match your follower tag.

Note to published authors-- Still looking for books containing a Sizzling Kiss for prizes. (hint, hint).

Tickle Tease Tuesday

Do you see the counter to the right??? --->>>
I'm soo excited!!
Sorry, this excerpt isn't from that upcoming release but another project that I just can't let die.

Least readers begin to complain that I never post any of my own work these days...
Let me indulge by sharing a unedited scene from a manuscript I'm still debating on.

Trevor stopped Kim's hand as she gently dabbed at his face with his own. “I’m being doctored by a graduate of ‘Mickey Mouse’ first aid?”

“Who said anything about graduating?”
He reached for her to tickle her sides. She laughed and wiggled away from his hands while rolling her chair backwards. “Stop, or I’ll pour peroxide all over your cut!”
“No you won’t,” he stated, ready to resume his tickle attack.
“Then stop.” She continued when he leaned back in the chair. “Actually I did graduate from some organized first aid class, but I think I cheated.”
“You cheated? How can you cheat in a first aid class?”
She applied the bandage to his cheek. “I kissed the instructor.”
“Just one kiss?” Trevor eyed her suspiciously.
“Well,” she dragged her answer. “He said he was teaching me mouth-to-mouth.”
Trevor chuckled knowingly, “And you believed him?”
“No.”
“You’re right. You cheated.”

Launching Mysterious Mondays

A Legacy of Lies with Stephanie McGee.

It was cold.

Too cold.

The eerie silence of a moonless, starless night engulfed him.

Jim shivered. It had been high noon only a few minutes ago. Had he fallen asleep? He didn't remember being tired. He shook his head and tried to focus his groggy mind. He peered around cautiously. Where was his horse?

A rustling sound in the bushes startled him. His eyes darted to investigate. Nothing.

No, wait. There it was again. Off to the left. His eyes strained, searching for the slightest movement or shape. Something. Anything.

Silence.

He felt like a kid afraid of the dark.

Get a hold of yourself, man.

Fingers of fear teased along the back of his neck. The hairs stood on end. He shivered.

Where was that horse?

"Ciervo!" His voice sounded weak even to his own ears. He tried again. Now he was completely hoarse.

Swallowing the panic rising from the pit of his stomach, he took a cautious step forward.

He heard stirring in the woods behind him. Squirrels? He listened intently.

The noise came again. No. Definitely not a squirrel. Something was pacing in the woods. Deliberate. Stalking. Jim's mouth went dry.

Mountain lion.

His heart raced and he looked desperately around, scanning the darkness. Blackness blanketed the meadow. Jim hoped Ciervo hadn't wandered too far. He started to walk. Slowly. Calculating. He couldn't tell in what direction he moved.

His cell! He could use it as a light source. Jim's hand brushed at his hip. It wasn't there. He frowned. It always stayed on his belt. He never left the ranch without it.

Jim's eyes strained, but he could barely make out his surroundings. The farther he walked, the darker it got. His breathing came in quick, rapid intakes.

A shrill sound broke the silence. His heart leaped.

"Ciervo?"

Where was he? Was the mountain lion after him?

Hoof beats. Thank goodness.

They were pounding quicker than his rapidly drumming heart. A shadow appeared about thirty feet in front of him.

It wasn't his beloved horse. It looked like something galloping up from Hell.

The horrid creature ran wildly toward him. The cold air caused the hot breath to billow from its nostrils like a smoking dragon.

The monster's eyes looked like no earthly thing he had ever seen. The bulging orbs had a luminescent shine that came from deep behind the pupils. In the pitch black they glowed like a ghostly beacon.

The horse-shaped beast lowered his head. The creature was preparing to slam into him.

Jim threw himself out of its path and landed sharply on his hip. His right thigh slammed into a large, extruded boulder. Fire shot down his leg. Ignoring the pain, he jumped to his feet, eyes probing the darkness for the crazed brute. The ghostly version of Ciervo had vanished.

Despite the cold, he began to sweat. Jim felt eyes boring into him. Someone or something watched him. He was exposed. Unprepared. His heart hammered in his chest. His body refused to move.

Another sound. Different. It wasn't rustling limbs or bushes, and it certainly wasn't the horse's wild hoof beats. It was quiet, like a soft whisper. Crying? No, calling out for something.

He strained to catch the garbled words. The voice grew louder. More urgent. Still he couldn't make out the woeful tone. Then, as if his brain finished translating some cryptic code, the word became clear.

"James!"

Again. Louder this time. "James... James..." The voice rose and fell in the darkness. Its eerie sound slithered into his ears.

"Hello?" His voice echoed hoarsely. He held onto a feeble hope the voice came from someone nearby lost in the dark along with him. No one here knew him by that name. He stood holding his breath, listening.

Suddenly, a freight train of frigid air knocked him backward. Terrified, he dared not to move. The voice came again.

"You must help. Soon it will be too late--"

An insidious roar erupted around him. Hot, musty breath bathed Jim's face. He struggled backward. He couldn't quite make out the figure standing over him. The silhouette was enormous. Its shoulders spanned at least four feet. An odd-shaped head swayed from side-to side.

It growled.

Paralyzed with fear, Jim lay helpless. The creature rose to stand upright. Seven. Eight feet tall. Jim gasped for air. His feet tore into the soft ground, trying to gain footing. Desperately trying to get away.

The creature came crashing toward him.


Buy links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/A-Legacy-of-Lies-ebook/dp/B007K1LS58/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332042156&sr=8-1

Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-legacy-of-lies-stephenia-mcgee/1107713261?ean=2940014338950

Desert Breeze Publishing: http://stores.desertbreezepublishing.com/-strse-273/A-Legacy-of-Lies/Detail.bok

Sunday Sizzle

In Sheeps Clothing

Michelle, I am seeing a trend with your kisses...they are getting better...Your first one was posted on May 6th and we have continued each and every Sunday since then with one from you. It is true, one gets better with practice and in writing, we know that the first kiss is the SIZZLE of the book.

(Excerpt used by permission of the author, Michelle Sutton.)

Jacob shrugged. He tried to act nonchalant, but his blood roared through his veins, making his pulse sound like it hammered in his ears. He'd never felt such an intense physical reaction when his ex touched him. His response to Stephanie was almost overwhelming. What could that mean?

Stephanie sighed and said, "Okay, so you aren't scared. But I get that you're nervous about kissing me. I'm nervous too."

He shook his head hoping to snap out of the haze. "Nervous? Not at all."

"So kiss me then. I've never been kissed by a Christian man before. I want to know if it's better than kissing a regular guy." She studied him a moment as if challenging him to try.

He wanted to respond, but he couldn't seem to get his body to move. She closed the space between them and gently pressed her lips against his.

A spark ignited between them the moment their mouths touched. And as quickly as the kiss began, it was over. She stepped back and rolled her eyes to the side as if thinking.

He blinked and tried to clear his thoughts. She'd kissed him so fast he hadn't had time to kiss her back. The situation felt awkward to say the least.

"Not bad. At least I wasn't repulsed by it." Her teasing grin made him long to pull her into a fierce embrace and give her a kiss that would leave her breathless. Before he could talk himself out of it, he did just that.

Her soft curves molded against him as he pulled her close. He angled his head to give him better access to her mouth. Her lips were soft under his, velvety even. He savored her moist kisses like a man hungering for affection for far too long. His body stirred and he had to pull away before he got himself in serious trouble.

"Wow. Much better that time." She smiled. Her cheeks had flushed bright pink. "Christians are definitely better kissers."

Jacob smiled and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Not all Christians. Just this one."



You can buy In Sheep's Clothing HERE