Ten Things Writers Say, and What They Really Mean

I read this on Patty Froese blog and laughed so hard I have to share.
My thoughts are in italics.

A book is a labor of love.

Nineteen hours in drug-free hard labor with my daughter was easier, actually.
For me it was the hours of labor while my hubby and the nurse watch some golf!

Being a professional writer is an interesting and rewarding career.
(Check for the crossed fingers on this sztatement.)
Be anything but a professional writer. Don't make me beg you.
Yeah, I'll just die if I have to compete against someone I know.

I'm always thinking about my story, even when I'm shopping at the market.
I'm always thinking about . . . hey, are those chocolate-frosted donuts on sale?
And like hey, can I use that comment in that scene...becareful what you say out there!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the book.
I'm so glad your e-mail was a nice one because I just ran out of Valium. and chocolate...

Maybe Publishing is tough, but I love the competition.
Maybe Wal-Mart is hiring.
Don't you dare write anything worth reading...

My editor is thoughtful with responses and is making me a better writer.
My editor hasn't answered my e-mail and is making me crazy.
Where is she when I need her the most?   One hour to deadline. Dang was the Eastern Time or Pacific?

So you want to write a book? That's great.
Please don't ask me to help you write your book.
Plesze don't have the guts to finish it!

Sure, I can wait another six weeks for payment to be approved.
Sure, I can pawn my wedding rings again. Do you have any recipes for making something edible out of ketchup and beans?
You're lucky I pawned my pistol last week.

Writing a synopsis isn't so bad. You just have to think about it.
Writing a synopsis makes me break out in hives but I'm too poor to hire someone to do it for me.
Telling every other author how to write their synopsis isn't bad, but mine is impossible.

You will absolutely love holding your first book in your hands.
You will scream like an air raid siren, shake like you're standing naked in a blizzard and then cry like a teething baby while clutching your first book in your hands. P.S., don't let them videotape it.
Yeah, you'll do the exact same thing when you download it off of Amazon on the ornery little Kindle. I'll show you Kindle Fire!

Legally Wed by Patty Froese

Blurb:

When Rich McConaughey comes back to town, divorce papers in hand, he’s in for more than he bargained for. Lisa Young, the woman he was married to for six months, hasn’t changed a bit. His mother has though… she’s gone from matronly to meow, and his father has taken off with the secretary. Does anything last anymore?

Lisa Young feels chained to the hardware store her family has run for generations. How can she tell her father that she hates the family business? When Rich walks back into her store asking her to finalize a divorce she thought was behind her, she thinks that the answer is to sign on the dotted line and move on. Except, Rich isn’t making it so easy… and God has other plans.

For better or for worse, when you’re legally wed, things can get complicated.


Bio:

Patty Froese lives in central Canada where the winters are long and cold--giving her excellent excuse to stay in and write without guilt. She's a tea drinker, a novel writer, an adoring wife and mom, and she's pretty sure she's a British person born in a shivering, Canadian body. She loves rain, royalty, pretty knick knacks and three square meals a day. No dieting here!

If you'd like to find her online, come by her blog: http://pattyfroese.com. She's also on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pattyfroese, and whenever someone gives her a new like or follows her blog, she sighs in delight.

Legally Wed is her ninth novel to be released. Get it here http://stores.desertbreezepublishing.com/-strse-371/Legally-Wed-Patty-Froese/Detail.bok

Coming soon to Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Giving Thanks for the Perfect Package

When I got married, I had all sorts of beautiful ideas of what marriage would be like. I came from a family of "good gifters." We'd shop for weeks and weeks until we found the perfect gift for each other. My brother bought me a gorgeous little silver jewelry box one year. I bought him an engraved cigar holder. My parents would give each other thoughtful gifts of jewelry or rare books... Gifts were an important part of our family culture.


My husband was a different kind of guy.

Our first anniversary, I bought my husband a stainless steel business card holder and engraved it with the words "More Than Anything," my answer to him when he asked how much I loved him. Super. Wife. Seriously, it was a gift that I was SURE would be passed on to our grandchildren with the romantic story. My husband opened the package and looked at it in confusion.

"What is it?"

"A business card holder. Look at the inscription..."

"But I don't have business cards."

"I know. You could use it to hold credit cards, maybe." I went on to explain the potential significance, but he still didn't seem to get it. I thought it might grow on him.

The next day, my husband was trying to fix something in our new apartment, and we didn't yet own a hammer. I walked into the room to find my husband using my gift to him as a makeshift hammer, slamming it repeatedly into a nail! He honestly didn't think it would get damaged...

That day, I had a decision to make. I could drive myself nuts for the rest of my life trying to make him appreciate my great gifts, and take on the even harder task of teaching him how to BUY those great gifts, or I could just appreciate him for who he is.

He's sweet, kind, attentive and an incredibly hard worker. He puts me first. He pours time into our relationship. He takes pride in being there for me. He's brilliant. He's my perfect match--with or without a great gifting instinct.

Marriage isn't always "romance novel" material. It's the daily grind. It's the breakfasts, mid-morning chats on the phone, grocery shopping trips when both of you are wiped and cuddling up in bed together when the power goes out. Marriage isn't about the few monumental moments, it's about those many, many insignificant moments that don't seem important at the time, but meld together into a lifelong relationship. This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for my husband--the complete package.

In my novel, Legally Wed, we follow the stories of two marriages--one that was supposed to be over, and one that was supposed to be perfect. Marriage is never what you imagine...http://pattyfroese.com

More on Legally Wed tomorrow...